i'm goin' out of my head over you...

Friday, July 28, 2006
5:23 PM

i got a lot on my mind, and some of it aren't supposed to be there...

i thought the stress would finish once the paper was done and submitted, but i was so wrong. for some reason, almost all the work just flooded onto me. and i'm not just talking about the paper. i haven't been this stressed out in months, and to say that it stinks is a major understatement. and unfortunately, it's affecting the most important thing to me right now: my relationship with Candy.

first off, i had to juggle all the scheduling and documentations for my business. i know it's my duty to handle it being the owner/proprietor of the whole thing, but to be honest, i'm having a hard time doing it. it's not that hard, but with the time i can allot to the things that i have to do, it's really stressing me out. i have to talk to a lot of people, arrange trips, arrange accomodations, prepare documentations, and a lot more. it's really freaking me out.

second, my car. with gas prices high enough to be arrested for drug usage, it's really squeezing me tight. not to blame is the trips i've been doing, going to school to prep for my defense, going to see Candy, making trips to offices, and so on. i haven't been this strapped on cash since 2001. plus the fact that there's visible damage to it makes it worse.

third, the defense. i'm confident with what's gonna happen, it's just that the preparation for it is so tiring and frustrating. i had to make trips to school more frequently, i have to go to Jeff's place more often to practice, and sometimes i had to cancel my trips to see her just because of the time i have to spend on the defense, among other things. it's really frustrating the f*ck out of me.

i've made up my mind. soon as i graduate, i'll still take my MBA. but, i'll also find work.

it's frustrating me in the sense that i sometimes can't keep my promises to her, like going to see her whenever i can, hanging out with her, stuff like that. i really wanna spend my time with her as much as i can, and whenever i had to cancel it, sometimes on the last minute, it really pisses me off. i know that she too is pretty pissed off about it, because as i'm typing this i can sense that she's kinda mad at me for not being able to meet her in her office this afternoon. i know that it's not really that necessary for some, for me to see her almost everyday, but i'm trying to squeeze in most of my time to be with her because for a couple of weeks i may not be able to see her at all. and it really pisses the f*ck out of me.

hon, if you're reading this, i'm really sorry i'm not able to see you at times. it's just that i'm being flooded with a lot of stuff again. i'm not saying that this will be a permanent occurrence, but i really hope you understand. i mean, you're not the only one who's mad that we're not able to see each other that much. i just don't show it, but i get really frustrated when stuff like this happens.

no words can express
my love for you

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
1:21 AM

Chemistry was crazy from the get go, just like the song said

But we know exactly why the energy was so widespread

Maybe then it was too early to say that we belong together

But here we are so in love thru good and bad weather

We’ve been through so much heartbreak, we thought love never existed

But we never closed our doors, in true love we persisted

We refused to give up, we never gave in

And now our tears turned into smiles, us sharing big ass grins

I guess you had me at hello, just like Jerry Maguire

‘Cause I’ve been waiting all my life for you, the woman I’ll forever admire

You came in to my life right in the nick of time

Now my days and nights are peaceful and sublime

I can’t wait for the day when you walk down that aisle

And say that you’ll stay forever, not just for a while

I might upset you at times, I might act dumb

For reasons I can’t understand, trains of thought I can’t fathom

But rest assured that I’ll respect you and treat you as my queen

I will never do you wrong, because life with you is oh so serene

Whatever problems you might encounter, adversities you may face

I will do my best to help, and comfort you with my embrace

My words may not mean much, my feelings I might find hard to express

But then again, true love never required finesse

Just know that I’ll be there for you every step of the way

I hope my smile is enough to meet you halfway

I don’t want to imagine my life without your touch

Because the world is full of misery, it’s tragic as such

You’ve given me so many reasons to live my life once more

You are my godsend, the dream I thought was impossible before

We’ll take this love and savor every second

Because this is the love we’ve always envisioned

You asked me, “Where have you been all those years?”

I guess I was just beside you, drowning in my sea of tears

But now we’ve risen from the ashes, reveling in our slice of heaven

Waltzing our way towards our secret garden

Where our fears will be no more and only our love will reign

And this, I assure you, will be the last time we’ll fall in love again

no words can express
my love for you

Tuesday, July 18, 2006
1:24 PM

i never knew i could be this happy again, until i met you and fell in love with you.

i didn't see that you were the missing piece of the puzzle.

i've never been more content in my life, until now.

everytime i hold your hand,

hug you as tight as i could,

kiss you with all my might,

and say those three words i've been dying to say,

i feel complete.

what makes it so much sweeter is,

you feel just as much,

maybe even more,

about me as i do about you.

i know you felt that this is too good to be true, and in some ways i felt that too

but at this point, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

i just don't want this to end, because it scares me to death

what would happen to me if i lose you

I LOVE YOU, and i don't care if i sound like a broken record

i will say it every chance i get

our past doesn't matter anymore

because the only thing that matters now is that we have each other

i hope and pray that Eric Benet's song is right

i hope and pray, that this would be the last time we fall in love

moments like these feel like heaven for the both of us

but then again, if you ask me

my slice of heaven is, simply put,

you.

no words can express
my love for you

Monday, July 17, 2006
1:49 AM

i don't know where to start...

when i first met you i said to myself, "wow, she's cute"... first impressions, i guess... i never knew i'll come this far and feel this deep for you... despite your self-professed imperfections i never let these bother me, because what mattered to me, and what still matters now, is the fact that i'm happy when i'm with you... i have my own imperfections, so i'm in no position to judge whatever shortcomings you have... even if i don't, and that's impossible too, i'll never knock you for whatever it is that you do...

i'm glad we both feel the same way for each other... i don't want this to end, and so do you... i can't blame you though for being scared at times with all the good stuff that's been going on... at some point we'll both be hurt, by what or who i can't tell, but know that it'll never sway my opinions on who you are to me... whatever bumps we might take, i'll be by your side through everything...

i'm just as scared, but what i'm scared of is what would happen if i lose you...

through everything you've gone through, and everything i've gone through, i know we're stronger because of those things... and as we take this one step at a time, i know we'll be closer than ever...

we've suffered through a lot of heartbreak.. we've cried oceans of tears.. we've been through so much our entire lives.. but, if all those tears & pain were meant for me to lead to you, i'd say it was worth it.. i'd rather die & be resurrected, and be living my life with you, rather than live my life another way..

i feel like asking this again... where have you been all my life?

(to be continued...)

no words can express
my love for you

Thursday, July 06, 2006
3:23 PM

The Life & Times of SevenZeroFive presents:
"Send Me To My Afterlife... Please..."

for years i've been called a lot of things. most of it, i can't remember. but it always revolves around whatever i'm doing. take this case for example. people have been calling me stupid for months because i'm trying to rebuild what's left of my friendship with this person. what really set me off was that that person agreed with them, that i am indeed stupid for wanting it so much. i didn't mind it at first, but as the minutes passed i just became agitated and mad. is it really that stupid for someone to want his friendship back? is it really that stupid to put the past behind and start over? well, if it's stupidity, then YES I AM FUCKING STUPID.

am i cursed or something? it seems that whenever i put my heart into something it's either my efforts aren't good enough or my efforts are greatly unappreciated. my friendships are the second most important thing to me other than my family, because the fact that i don't have any brothers or sisters makes my friends the only people i could run to whenever i have something on my mind. that said, if stupidity is the end result of me being passionate in keeping my friendships alive, then YES I AM FUCKING STUPID.

funny, but it would seem that my afterlife's the only place where maybe, just maybe, all my efforts would be appreciated. so, if someone can hear me, can you please send me to my afterlife?

no words can express
my love for you